Thursday, 31 Dec 09, 9.26am at home
Hello diary..
Today is the last day of this year. The last day of 2009. I have been praying for something these last few years, and this year I managed to make that dream comes true. A dream to change something. Yes, I managed to change something hateful to be something hopeful. I should be happy about this achievement but I am not. When it used to be so hateful, I was so hopeful. Now it has become so hopeful, too hopeful, and it is so hateful to me. It's not that I demand more than this. It's not that I change my mind. It's just that I force this to happen too much and it does not turn out well now although I got what I want. I forgot that everything happens with a reason. And I never expected that the reason turns out to be something so hateful. It hits me back! I am so sad, I don't want it anymore. Something that I have been praying for years, suddenly I don't want it anymore..
A lesson to learn this year: Never force it to happen with our own strength. I know this. I always know this. But it's not easy to implement it in my life. Seems that my brain and my emotion control my acts.
Tomorrow will be a new year. Tomorrow will be a new day for me. I wanna leave everything so hateful in the past. I wanna be a person who always has hope and faith.
Happy New Year 2010, Diary..
-Abbie-
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