Thursday, 31 Dec 09, 9.26am at home
Hello diary..
Today is the last day of this year. The last day of 2009. I have been praying for something these last few years, and this year I managed to make that dream comes true. A dream to change something. Yes, I managed to change something hateful to be something hopeful. I should be happy about this achievement but I am not. When it used to be so hateful, I was so hopeful. Now it has become so hopeful, too hopeful, and it is so hateful to me. It's not that I demand more than this. It's not that I change my mind. It's just that I force this to happen too much and it does not turn out well now although I got what I want. I forgot that everything happens with a reason. And I never expected that the reason turns out to be something so hateful. It hits me back! I am so sad, I don't want it anymore. Something that I have been praying for years, suddenly I don't want it anymore..
A lesson to learn this year: Never force it to happen with our own strength. I know this. I always know this. But it's not easy to implement it in my life. Seems that my brain and my emotion control my acts.
Tomorrow will be a new year. Tomorrow will be a new day for me. I wanna leave everything so hateful in the past. I wanna be a person who always has hope and faith.
Happy New Year 2010, Diary..
-Abbie-
12.31.2009
12.16.2009
Last Day In Office
Wednesday, 16 Dec 09, 8.48am on the bus
Hello my little diary..
Today is my last day going to office, this will be my last post on the bus on the way to office too. Today should be a happy day for me, I should be happy today, but why am I sad now? I guess the answer is only one: I already get used to this lifestyle. My colleagues have been my family in HK. This job has been my life since I moved to HK one year ago. I had nobody here, I had no expectation, when I first came to HK. This job gives me life and confidence. I really wanna dedicate this post to thank this company who has been employing me this one year, one month, and six days. But, if I turn back the time, I would still choose to resign. I will have no regret, I need to move on with life.
Yesterday I already had my farewell party with my colleagues. I have passed the job to my team mate. Today will just be a relaxing day for me. I brought all the used-newspapers today, I wanna give these to a grandma who collects used-newspapers every morning near the bus stop. Usually I give newspaper to her once a week since my husband buys newspaper only once a week every weekend. But today, I grabbed all of our "newspaper collections" that I usually keep for emergency purposes. This will be my last chance to help that old grandma.
Yesterday when one of my colleagues asked me "Will you just be a housewife and work at home? Won't you feel bored if you work alone?" *Tink!!* This sensitive question again!
Anyway, my posts have been quite boring to you recently since I'm very serious writing diary now. Let me tell you one lesson if you want to order food from a restaurant in Cantonese. I usually eat fried chicken ball with rice in Taiwanese restaurant near my office.
Me: "Ng goi, sei ye.." (Excuse me, I wanna order)
Waiter: ".........." [running around ignoring me]
Me: "Ng goi, sei ye!! Oei mai!! (Excuse me, I wanna order, take away!!) [I have to shout it loudly]
Waiter: ".....mei ah...?" (....what...?) [this is what I can catch so far]
Me: "Hai, oei mai" (yes, take away) [I thought she asked "oei mai ah?"]
Waiter: "......MEI AH....???!!" (....WHAT..??!!) [she is angry...]
Me: "HAI, OEI MAI!!" (YES, TAKE AWAY!!") [I still thought that she asked "OEI MAI?" and expected me to say it louder]
Waiter: "..........." [she looked at me with writing pose and one of her eyebrows was higher]
Me: "Kai gau fan" (fried chicken ball rice) [when she paused, it's the perfect time to say it]
Waiter: "...yam ah..?" (...drink..?)
Me: "Ng yu" (I don't want) [this part is smooth]
Waiter: "....cao....!!" (....go...!!)
Me: "......." [I shaked my head, I wanted to order, I didn't wanna go!)
Waiter: "....cao... Oei mai??" (...go... Take away..) [aha! This part I know!]
Me: "Hai!!" (yes!!)
Finally we finished the conversation and I managed to order Kai gou fan. Since I always buy Kai gou fan almost every day, when the chicken ball is finished, the auntie will shout "Kai gou fan mo le!!" right in front of my face even before I enter the restaurant. She recognize me now as the chicken ball lady? I will miss Kai gou fan in the future after I stop working... And that auntie..
I am reaching office now, talk to you again, diary!
-Abbie-
Hello my little diary..
Today is my last day going to office, this will be my last post on the bus on the way to office too. Today should be a happy day for me, I should be happy today, but why am I sad now? I guess the answer is only one: I already get used to this lifestyle. My colleagues have been my family in HK. This job has been my life since I moved to HK one year ago. I had nobody here, I had no expectation, when I first came to HK. This job gives me life and confidence. I really wanna dedicate this post to thank this company who has been employing me this one year, one month, and six days. But, if I turn back the time, I would still choose to resign. I will have no regret, I need to move on with life.
Yesterday I already had my farewell party with my colleagues. I have passed the job to my team mate. Today will just be a relaxing day for me. I brought all the used-newspapers today, I wanna give these to a grandma who collects used-newspapers every morning near the bus stop. Usually I give newspaper to her once a week since my husband buys newspaper only once a week every weekend. But today, I grabbed all of our "newspaper collections" that I usually keep for emergency purposes. This will be my last chance to help that old grandma.
Yesterday when one of my colleagues asked me "Will you just be a housewife and work at home? Won't you feel bored if you work alone?" *Tink!!* This sensitive question again!
Anyway, my posts have been quite boring to you recently since I'm very serious writing diary now. Let me tell you one lesson if you want to order food from a restaurant in Cantonese. I usually eat fried chicken ball with rice in Taiwanese restaurant near my office.
Me: "Ng goi, sei ye.." (Excuse me, I wanna order)
Waiter: ".........." [running around ignoring me]
Me: "Ng goi, sei ye!! Oei mai!! (Excuse me, I wanna order, take away!!) [I have to shout it loudly]
Waiter: ".....mei ah...?" (....what...?) [this is what I can catch so far]
Me: "Hai, oei mai" (yes, take away) [I thought she asked "oei mai ah?"]
Waiter: "......MEI AH....???!!" (....WHAT..??!!) [she is angry...]
Me: "HAI, OEI MAI!!" (YES, TAKE AWAY!!") [I still thought that she asked "OEI MAI?" and expected me to say it louder]
Waiter: "..........." [she looked at me with writing pose and one of her eyebrows was higher]
Me: "Kai gau fan" (fried chicken ball rice) [when she paused, it's the perfect time to say it]
Waiter: "...yam ah..?" (...drink..?)
Me: "Ng yu" (I don't want) [this part is smooth]
Waiter: "....cao....!!" (....go...!!)
Me: "......." [I shaked my head, I wanted to order, I didn't wanna go!)
Waiter: "....cao... Oei mai??" (...go... Take away..) [aha! This part I know!]
Me: "Hai!!" (yes!!)
Finally we finished the conversation and I managed to order Kai gou fan. Since I always buy Kai gou fan almost every day, when the chicken ball is finished, the auntie will shout "Kai gou fan mo le!!" right in front of my face even before I enter the restaurant. She recognize me now as the chicken ball lady? I will miss Kai gou fan in the future after I stop working... And that auntie..
I am reaching office now, talk to you again, diary!
-Abbie-
12.11.2009
Live Life to the Fullest!
Friday, 11 Dec 09, 8.29 am on the bus
Dear diary,
I will officially stop working at my current company on next Wednesday. I really look forward to that day, but at the same time, I feel nervous too. For the last two weeks, honestly I have been afraid to go back to my housewife life. I still can clearly remember how desperate I was when I was in Japan becoming a housewife. I don't like to be a useless person although I must admit that I'm not-too-usefull person too. Well, I guess this time will be different, I mean, slightly different. I know I will still be called housewife - a wife who stays at home, because I don't know what else I can be called. Apartmentwife? Flatwife? Anyway, that will be my new title, but my jobs will not be the same.
You must be wondering, if I don't want to be a housewife, why should I quit my job? Yea, that's what I'm wondering too. Am I crazy? No. Ok, yes.. A bit. What I'm feeling now is "my blood is boiling". *Isn't it winter in HK now? Are you still in HK??* Yes, I am still and will be in HK forever ever after! It has been officially decided, confirmed and endorsed by my husband.
Anyway, talking about my "boiling blood", if I can describe it using simple words, I feel that I can't live my life like this anymore. I am 28 years old now, turning to 29 in 2 months time. And, what have I done so far? What have I achieved? Ok, to make it simple, what is my best achievement in my life? Do you want to know my honest answer? You are right! I managed to find a guy who wants to marry me! That's my honest answer. My career life doesn't make me proud, I know I'm too dumb, I mean, not-that-smart to climb up the corporate ladder, so I should not waste any more time by just sitting dumbly in the office and waiting till my hair turns grey and my time is up! This corporate life doesn't fit me. I need to go out from my comfort zone, I need to take a brave step to at least try doing something else while I'm still young, do you think so? *you are almost 29, you are not young anymore* Haizz... Diary!!
I'm on the way to office now, I wanna enjoy these last 4 working days in my office. I will capture all these last moments and remember it in my mind, perhaps when I'm older *next year??* I wanna go back to this kind of life again. We never know what's going to happen in the future, so just keep praying, grab any opportunities in front of us, and do the best! Live a life to the fullest!
-Abbie-
Dear diary,
I will officially stop working at my current company on next Wednesday. I really look forward to that day, but at the same time, I feel nervous too. For the last two weeks, honestly I have been afraid to go back to my housewife life. I still can clearly remember how desperate I was when I was in Japan becoming a housewife. I don't like to be a useless person although I must admit that I'm not-too-usefull person too. Well, I guess this time will be different, I mean, slightly different. I know I will still be called housewife - a wife who stays at home, because I don't know what else I can be called. Apartmentwife? Flatwife? Anyway, that will be my new title, but my jobs will not be the same.
You must be wondering, if I don't want to be a housewife, why should I quit my job? Yea, that's what I'm wondering too. Am I crazy? No. Ok, yes.. A bit. What I'm feeling now is "my blood is boiling". *Isn't it winter in HK now? Are you still in HK??* Yes, I am still and will be in HK forever ever after! It has been officially decided, confirmed and endorsed by my husband.
Anyway, talking about my "boiling blood", if I can describe it using simple words, I feel that I can't live my life like this anymore. I am 28 years old now, turning to 29 in 2 months time. And, what have I done so far? What have I achieved? Ok, to make it simple, what is my best achievement in my life? Do you want to know my honest answer? You are right! I managed to find a guy who wants to marry me! That's my honest answer. My career life doesn't make me proud, I know I'm too dumb, I mean, not-that-smart to climb up the corporate ladder, so I should not waste any more time by just sitting dumbly in the office and waiting till my hair turns grey and my time is up! This corporate life doesn't fit me. I need to go out from my comfort zone, I need to take a brave step to at least try doing something else while I'm still young, do you think so? *you are almost 29, you are not young anymore* Haizz... Diary!!
I'm on the way to office now, I wanna enjoy these last 4 working days in my office. I will capture all these last moments and remember it in my mind, perhaps when I'm older *next year??* I wanna go back to this kind of life again. We never know what's going to happen in the future, so just keep praying, grab any opportunities in front of us, and do the best! Live a life to the fullest!
-Abbie-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)