What's a real family?

Tuesday, 28 Oct 08, 8.24am in MacDonnell Room

Morning morning, little diary..
The day after tomorrow, my parents will be here for one week. Yoohoo! I'm really looking forward to that day although I act cool like-nothing-happen on the outside. I don't know why, I still feel like a little child who needs comforts from parents. I really miss the warmness of the family when all the family members gather at home. People say that once we get married, we create a new family, a new small family of two. Yes, I have been married for one year and 3 months, but until now I still can't think that I have my own small family.

Whenever I think about 'family', the group I'm referring to is my family members in Solo, not us. When my pastor prayed for us before we left Japan "May God protect your family...", the first moment I caught was he was praying for our families in Solo, not us. Ok, now I noticed, I don't call my own small family with the term 'family', but I call it 'us'. Yes, it's just us. I know my life is great, it's really great; I have experiences to live in other countries, I have freedom to go to wherever I want and to do whatever I wish, I have enough money to buy whatever I need. But, human is never satisfied, human keeps searching for something that's missing. Yes, I'm missing something. I need that 'warmness', because I feel 'cold'. I need some 'dampness' because I feel 'dry'. I'm longing to have my own family, a real family, not just us.

I think this is the reason why I insisted to my hubby that I wanted to rent a bigger apartment, with proper dining table especially. I feel that a home should have a proper dining table. A home will look warmer with a dining table in it, it's a proof that people are eating there and they are living! A home is not a place for people to sleep in only. In my new apartment, there is already a dining table with 4 chairs. Since my apartment is quite small, my hubby wanted to take out 2 chairs. He thought that 2 chairs would be enough for us since only us staying in. I said NO!, I want to keep all the 4 chairs! 4 chairs make the home looks more like a home as if 4 people stay in that home. I know it's stupid and so funny, I also never thought that I would fall in love with dining table so much, but it shows that I really need that 'home warmness', desperately..

Hiks, what am I mumbling about now? I really wanted to start my diary with some good news and followed by my fun story on last weekend. But why it's ended up like this?? It's really not in my scenario! Who started this topic?? When did it start?? It really has spoiled my mood of the day already! Haiz.. Sorry diary, I'll tell you my last weekend story next time.

-Abbie-