Friday, 27 June 08, 11.16am at home
Hi again diary,
Yesterday night I had a very bad mood. I didn't have mood to talk and to do anything. Well, this is actually what I'm feeling recently. I don't know when it was started, but last night was the climax. I felt so empty, so useless, so weak till my whole body was so sick. Fortunately my hubby comforted me and I felt better now.
I didn't know how to describe my feeling when my hubby asked me last nite. This is what I told him:
One day, my youngest brother complained to his babysitter
Brother: "Why not everyday is Sunday so that I don't need to go to school, I can sleep till afternoon, and I can watch Doraemon every morning?"
Babysitter: "It's because during weekdays you feel tired and not happy, then you can feel happy and excited when Sunday comes. Without experiencing the painful weekdays, you won't value the feeling of having great Sunday."
I understood fully what she meant when she said this to my brother. But, now I really really understand it very well.
I admit that I have very good life now. I don't have any problem with my part-time job, my hubby, my family, my friends, or money. I have no life pressure at all. My life is about holiday, eh no, holiday is all about in my life. You might ask "So, what's your problem now?" I also don't know. It's not that I'm not grateful with what I have now. This is a new feeling for me. I just read a quote from my cousin "Happiness is a place between too little and too much". I absolutely agree with this quote. Everything that is too much or too little is not good. Perhaps now I'm having too great life till I feel so tired of it, till I can't feel what the real 'great life' is anymore, till I can't get excited about holiday. Being a full-time housewife at a young age is really not recommended, especially if there are no family, no relatives, and no children yet. I'm not sure if my mothership-sense is starting to be on the on-mode now. What I'm sure is, I need something more exciting in my life and I'm now finding out what it is.
-Abbie-
6 comments:
Happy or not happy itu tergantung pikiran kita aja. Namanya manusia kan gak pernah puas. Jadi yah begitu... selalu bilang, "wah, seandainya hidupku kayak...."
namanya juga manusia... ga perna ngerasa puas yaa..
yg perlu diinget.. life is like a rollercoaster.. ada ups n downs..
enjoy aja what u have now.. hidup terus bejalan.. one day, it would be hard to turn back again..
I know how u feel, because i feel that too sometimes. So empty that i feel at the bottom/zero state. I feel like everything is not right, useless, and no point at all living this life. Doesnt matter u are a full time housewive or a full time worker like me, if the routines start to take over, your mind and soul get really tired!. But i think this is a life cycle, soon you will get over this and the best thing you can do is to draw yourself closer to Him and keep a positive mind all the time :). Hope you get this over really soon. GBU
Thank you my friendssss.. I always get better in the morning when the sun rises and get moody again in the evening after the sun sets. Am I kind of Dracula? I think I need to ride roller coaster to get my mood back.
...here's my tips:
Dari pengalamanku pribadi, tiap kali ngrasa empty, capek ati, boring berat, bete abis, dll...
1. Mikirin hal2 yg menyenangkan sambil tiduran. Misalnya, masa2 terindah sama bang Ron, sama family.. Atau bisa juga hal2 yg akan terjadi, yg indah2 tentunya..
2. Ganti suasana, refreshing. Monotonnya kegiatan sering bikin boring dan empty.. Coba pergi jln2 sendiri.
Ps: di jp msh byk yg bisa diliat drpd di mgl.
3. Memanjakan diri sendiri. Misal, krimbat, facial, meni-pedi, dll.. Biasanya hbs perawatan pd-nya jd nambah.. Atau pijitan jg bagus buat bikin badan rileks..
4. Sekali2 makan enak sambil nonton film. Lupakan sebentar dietnya..
Tips di atas biasanya sukses buat saya. Tapi biasanya jg kembali ke empty-mode lagi setelahnya.. :( Hbsnya, emg tiap hr gn2 trusss....
Thanks cip. Caramu emang manjur2, bagiku yg manjur no 2 dan no 4. Tapi paling manjur ttp no 4. So you can see, if I get fatter means that I'm having problem, if I get thinner means that I'm so happy. Ngomong2 ttg krimbat dll, tiba2 jadi pingin potong rambut and merombak style rambut abis2an biar bisa tampil fresher walaupun ttp ndut.
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