Still in My First Semester..

Thursday, 15 Apr 08, 8.04am at home

Morning my little diary,
This is yesterday's menu in my cooking class! Yes, I'm still taking my cooking course although I seldom update it here. I would really love to share the recipe here but some of the ingredients are new to me and I don't know where to get. *Yes, you don't know but others might know!* Ok ok I'll share the recipe in my Dapur Cantik later.

When I was taking shower yesterday afternoon, suddenly I had a thought. It was too sudden till I had to rush out to search in google.co.jp. It's not that suddenly I couldn't take it anymore seeing my fat flabby too-well-built body and tried to search for a slimming program! But.. uhuks.. I'm shy to tell you.. ohoks.. hihihi.. ok, I want to learn hairstyling and haircut! You know, Japanese hairdressing. And maybe, make-up too. I'm still not sure why I want to learn, whether it's for commercial use or personal. What I know for sure is, my hair is in chaos now and my make-up skill is still messy. So, I need to do something! *Go to saloon for hair and face makeover lah!* Oh yes, that's very simple, diary. *Yes, it is. Why should you make it so complicated?* Anyway, I'm just telling you what I'm thinking now, dream may not come true, but dream may also come true! Rite?

Suddenly I remember a Korean drama "Be Strong, Geum Seum", it's an 150-episodes-drama, about a girl who wants to pursue her dream to be a hair dresser and she succeeds at the end of the final show. Well, I'm not telling you that I want to be a hairdresser, but I'm also not telling you that I don't want to be a hairdresser. So, just think neutral. I just want to copy her never-give-up spirits to pursue what she wants! I was very encouraged and excited and thrilled and energized when watching the show but once I click the pause button for toilet break, suddenly *Tuwett tuwett tuwett* back to my life and realise that I'm still in the first semester of my 50-years-dream-achievement-programme, which is; finding what I want, not even putting effort to pursue what I want. How to put effort if I don't even know what I want.

- Should I continue my Cooking course and be a full-time housewife or perhaps be a restaurant/cake shop Lau Pan Niang?
- Should I take a hairdressing/make-up course and be a well-built well-maintained lady or perhaps be a hairdresser?
- Should I continue my play-pause-play-pause Chinese course and be a person who's able to put 'tiang pancang' and confidently say "From my generation onwards, we are Chinese who can speak Chinese! Hahahahaha!!"?
- Should I continue my Japanese course and be what?? A person who knows a lil bit more of Japanese words?
- Should I find a more promising corporate job and be a career woman? But, can I? How high the corp ladder can I climb up with my abilities?
- Should I find a good business opportunity, get capital from husband my savings, try to open up business and be a business woman? Do I have that confident?
- Should I stay still, pray, and go with the flow? If I won't do anything, will there be any flow??
- Should I just treat my husband well, be the nicest wife in the world, and live like a fungi for the rest of my life?

Haiz.. life is quite tough when we think about it. So, should I not think? If so, that means I choose the no-flow-one? *no No NO! NO!!!* Then, what?? Think of a suggestion, not just loudly say 'No' four times, diary. God, please help me, I don't want to be in my first semester forever. All my classmates have gone to the next level, I need to 'naek kelas' too!

-'The First Semester Student' Abbie-