Freedom!

ODear Diary,

This is my first post again after 3.5 years. I just finished modifying the blogs since there are many changes in the template since my last visit. The title and the photo above have nothing to do with this post. Honestly I posted this photo just to test on the image size if it fits this template well. *How about the title?* Oh, I think the title "Freedom" matches the photo very nicely. 

Maybe you are wondering how my life is after soooo many years. Yes! I still live in HK. I have been living in HK for more than 6 years now, I think I am stuck here forever. I still live with the same husband, same son, but different maid. After so many years living in HK whose people speak Cantonese, finally I can speak.... no Cantonese, still. 

About my job, I am running my own business now. I have been doing a playgroup business for 2.5 years. *Finally!* yes, finally I got my dream job but I am about to let it go now. 

Got to go now!

Abbie

After 3 Months Off

Thursday, 25 Aug 11, 1.52pm at home
Dear my diary,
It's been 3 months since I last wrote my diary. Time really flies so fast! My baby is already 6 months old now. We already moved to our own home, finally! By the way, we're still in Hong Kong. Life after having baby and taking care of home renovation have really made me busy. Without realizing it, I'm already 30 years old now. At this age, I'm contented with what I have. I have a wonderful little family, and finally I have a home sweet home! Moving from place to place, from country to country, is really tiring. I've settled down now, in Hong Kong; a country that I never have expected that I would be living in till I have my grey hair. The feeling of settling down is so great! I can make my luggage empty, I can buy the things that I like without worrying that I will need to throw it away when we move later. Anyway, I'll post the pictures of my home after everything's fixed.

I just realized that I have not uploaded any picture of my baby Wesley in my diary. Here is the picture of my Wesley. :))

-Abbie-

First Time Leaving Wesley

Friday, 27 May 11 6.39am on the bus

Dear my diary,
I'm on the bus on the way to airport now. I'm flying to Australia, to Sydney. My hubby is already in Sydney since 2 days ago for business purpose. I got flu and coughs these last few days, I'm so worried about my Australia trip, I'm so worried about my baby too. My kind-hearted mom in-law is here in Hk to take care of Wesley, I feel much better with her existence since I can't really trust my nanny. This morning I couldn't even kiss my baby good bye because of my cough and flu :(( This is the first time I get separated from my baby. I'll be away from him for 11 days. He was smiling at me and kicking the air when I said bye-bye to him from far. The smile that will accompany me to Australia for 11 days. Although I'm very happy that finally I can have holiday again with my hubby after the delivery, I feel worried and sad leaving my baby at home. Please be good at home, always be healthy, my baby. Jesus, please continue blessing and protecting my baby, don't let anything bad happen to him. Bye-bye, baby. Mommy will be back soon.

-Abbie-

My Baby Wesley

Tuesday, 15 Mar 11, 1.07pm at home

Hi my little diary,
I am now at home with my baby and my nanny. My dear hubby is in Korea this week for business trip. My life has been quite settled down now. The first 6 days in hospital when my baby was born are very very meaningful to me. I had a chance to experience what a real mother truly feels.

On 22 Feb 2011 at 11am I had a c-section. I arrived Matilda Hospital at 9.30am. After we finished the administration stuff and some other preparation for the surgery, me and my hubby went into the operation room (read: I forced my hubby to join me in the operation room). My parents were waiting for us outside. The operation room was not scary at all. The doctors and the nurses welcomed us with smiles on their faces, they played cheerful songs, and the room temperature was just nice, not too cold, not too hot.

Around 10-15 minutes after my half body was numb, my baby was out! I heard him crying, and I saw him in my doctor's hands for the first time. This was the best moment I've ever felt in my life. I was crying because I was too happy. I will never forget this moment. The nurse then put him in my arm for few minutes before he was brought to the nursery room. My hubby and my baby were both gone after that, leaving me alone with the doctor who was still busy closing down my lower tummy. I used this time to close my eyes and pray. I really really thank God for giving me an opportunity to be a mom and to experience this best moment in my life. We name our baby Wesley Jenssen Wong.

Five nights and six days I stayed in hospital. I slept with baby Wesley every night. Wesley is very easy to take care. He doesn't cry even when he's hungry or in pain, he only gives signs if he needs something. This is the reason why I didn't let him sleep in the nursery room. Because the nurse didn't even know if Wesley was feeling uncomfortable. I really treasured these first 5 nights I spent with him. It's priceless! I even forgot the pain I had on my lower tummy. My courage to take care of my baby made my pain went away so fast. I started walking and bathing my baby on the next day. Now I know what kind of love moms give to their kids. It's the love that I never felt before.

-Abbie-

Last Day with My Belly Friend

Monday, 21 Feb 11, 11.35am at home

Dear my diary..
Today is the last day my baby stays in my womb, today is also the last day I have a family of two. I know my life will be totally changed after my baby is born. Will my life be better off after this?

My parents and brother are in Hk at the moment. My dear hubby is also taking paternity leave for almost 2weeks. I have my beloved family members around me now, I feel safe and warm.

Diary, please pray my safe delivery tomorrow at 11am. Hope the baby and me will be safe and sound.

- Mommy-to-be Abbie -

Last Weeks of My Pregnancy

Thursday, 10 Feb 11, 12.20pm at home
Dear my little diary,
Time passes by so fast. It is now already second month in the year 2011. I am still pregnant now, yes, very pregnant which means my belly reaches its maximum size at this moment. I have started my count-down, it is only 12 days to my baby's delivery day. We have scheduled the c-section on 22 Feb, at that time my baby will be 38 weeks old. My body is already so fat and heavy but my baby's weight is still so light. This is not fair! Why do all the fats just stuck in my body and never go down to my baby??

At this time, I am having dilemmas:
1. About My Privacy
Right now I am enjoying my me-time and quality time with my hubby so much. I know that once the baby is born; my time, my focus, and my money will be all about my baby till the day I leave this earth. Am I exaggerating too much? No. This is the fact, it's just that some people unconsciously/happily do it so they don't feel the burden at all (Group 1). However, some other people feels burdened but they are afraid to say it out loud since it is unethical to do so (Group 2). There are also a group of people who don't want this commitment so they choose to be free like a bird for their whole lives (Group 3). I have firmly chosen to be in Group 1, having baby has been my dream since many centuries ago. It's just that I don't feel I am prepared and ready enough to welcome a motherhood life. *Are you sure you are not in Group 2?* Hush! I will be ready when the time comes.

2. About My Body
Sometimes I get jealous when I see other girl with sexy body, perfect make-up, elegant dress, and high-heel shoes walking so confidently. Look at me now! I am fat with bumps everywhere (not only tummy bump), darker skin, cellulite everywhere, wearing auntie dress, flat shoes, and hardly able to walk straight (plus a beep-beep warning "Stay away, I can collapse anytime!"). What a contrast! In this situation, I wish time can go faster so I can go back to old-me soon. However, when I have quality time with my baby, I feel that I will miss this baby bump some day. How I wish I can make the time going slower so I can enjoy my pregnancy time longer. Sometimes I feel confident walking in the crowd with this out-of-shape body. It's just that I try to avoid having meal in restaurant alone because it makes me look like a fat pig even more.

3. About My Baby
I really enjoy every movement that my baby makes inside my womb. The feeling is so priceless! I like carrying my baby wherever I go, I like talking to my baby whenever I like and waiting for a response from him. It's quite sad to know that the time is almost over. But at the same time, I can't wait to see and hug my own baby!

In these 12 days, I will really use my time to enjoy these last moments of being pregnant because:
1. I will have no excuse to eat a lot after this.
2. I will have no excuse to sleep and be lazy by saying my baby needs me to rest.
3. I will have no excuse that I am dumb and forgetful because of pregnancy brain fog. Once I am dumb, face it, it's a reality.
4. I will have no excuse that I don't look good now because I am carrying a baby boy (my feminine hormone and my baby's masculine hormone crash). So, once I look ugly, yea, that's me, accept it or not.
5. I will have no excuse to nag my hubby to do some house-works and go to fancy places because the baby wants to eat something good.

-Pregnant Abbie-

01/01/11 at 11.11am

Saturday, 1 Jan 11, 11.11am at home

Dear my little diary,
Today is the first day in the year 2011. Last night I just stayed at home since my hubby was not feeling well and my baby bump is already too big and too heavy to walk around in the crowd. So we decided to cancel the dinner with friends and just had a simple dinner at home.

At 9pm, after my hubby took his medicine, he fell asleep on the sofa and moved to bedroom at 11pm to continue his tight-and-sound sleep. I was also dragged to bedroom to watch movie using my laptop. At 11.58 midnight, I started to hear noise from outside, that was when I realized that the counting down started. I ran to the window and opened my bedroom's curtain but I saw nothing special happened. Exactly at 12.00 midnight, the noise was so loud as if the whole HK people screamed at the same time. And I saw some colorful fireworks came out from some buildings in Central. The ship that was passing by my apartment also released its horn.

It was 12.00 midnight and few seconds, I whispered softly to the only one who was still awake and moving "Happy new year, my baby! This is the year when you will be born". My little one responded me with some little kicks. Yes, he kept moving and kicking to keep me awake before the new year and stayed quiet few minutes after the midnight. He was smart enough to know what's happening, huh? *Or, he just didn't want to spend his first old-and-new-moment sleeping like his Daddy?* Oh, and get well soon, my dear hubby!

Once again, happy new year! ^.^

-Abbie-

Last Day in 2010

Friday, 31 December 2010, 8.55am at home

Hi my dear diary,
Today is the last day of this year, it's morning in HK. I always feel sad on the last day of the year. The year 2010 is the year that I am already familiar with, the year that has revealed my life's mystery box. This year almost ends in hours, leaving me alone with another year; the year 2011. For me, the year 2011 is a brand new year that is still like a stranger, the year that forces me to face my unpredictable future, the year that challenges me to learn more and do more. I know, I should think positive, year 2011 has been waiting for me to give me a better life, right?

I will turn to 30 years old after the new year. I will no longer be in 20-something. What have I achieved? Not too much. Well, I have a husband, an expected baby that will be born in less than 2 months, an expected nanny for my baby (Does this count?), a finally-newly-bought-apartment in HK that we will be living in, in 6 months time, and a job. Excuse me, can I call it 'a job'? As you know, I have been working at home, doing some import-export business but not in a big scale. Sometimes I just don't feel it like a job since I do it at home.

Year 2010 is like preparation year for me, I will start to have a real family life in year 2011. There are lots of things I need to do after the new year; new baby and new home. I really hope I can do better in 2011, especially in that 'job' thing.

Happy New Year, diary!

-Abbie-

My First DSLR Camera

Monday, 25 Oct 10, 2.17pm at home

Hello diary..
I just bought a new camera few days ago. It's my first DSLR camera! My old pocket Sony camera was broken last year so it's a good chance to upgrade my camera to a better one. I love my new camera so much now! However, I had an unpleasant experience when buying this camera.

I bought it in a shop where I used to buy electronics stuff. I know one person there very well and he always gave me very good price. On Saturday, me and my hubby went there to buy other things and suddenly we wanted to buy a camera. The person whom I know was not there, the other salesman who said that he knows me serving us. This salesman talked so much till we fell in love with this camera. He also kept pushing us to buy accessories for camera. Me and my hubby were like hypnotized by this salesman. We just bought all that he recommended. We swiped the card, signed on the receipt, and we did not check on the stuffs we bought at all! We said thank you and left the shop.

Soon after we left the shop, I had a bad feeling. I told my hubby that I wanted to ask other shops about the price of the product we bought. Some of the shops gave us cheaper price. We already felt cheated but we were still fine. On the way home, we kept saying that this was our first time buying expensive camera so we deserved to enjoy some luxurious, to console our guilt. It worked, we were happily carrying our new camera home.

At home, I quickly checked on Canon website to learn more about the real price and I was happy since I bought it around US$100 cheaper than the suggested retail price. I opened the box and saw the camera, this was when I felt there was something wrong. The box and the camera show different product series. I quickly googled it and found out that actually both are the same product, one is the international product name and the other one is the Japan's one. Mine is the Japan version. I felt relieved. Then I inserted the battery into the camera and saw the language was all Japanese! The manual book and the warranty card were all in Japanese too! The worst part is, the warranty card says 'This warranty is only valid in Japan'. The shop indeed said that it has 1 year warranty with the shop, but not with Canon! We just suddenly remembered it after we were home. This is really not funny at all! I know some Japanese words but it literally means that I only know SOME words. We are very stupid in operating camera so we desperately need the Manual book. We also bought the camera bag for US$50, the bag with no brand name, the bag with awful appearance, and the bag that we did not even look at before buying!

At that night, we were so pissed off and we decided to come to the shop again for a product exchange. We wanted the international version with English language and with authorized warranty from Canon. However, we slowly changed our mind. My hubby ate one bowl of kuaci (Sun flower seeds) to gain his patience. I carefully checked on websites on how to get the English instruction book. I got the English manual book when my hubby finished half bowl of the kuaci, one problem was solved! On the manual book, I also found how to change the language in camera to English, and I managed to change it! Two problems were solved, my hubby just finished his whole bowl of kuaci. The kuaci-method worked well. He was really in a much more patient mood. About the warranty issue, we decided not to bother, we just pray and hope that my camera will be fine. We knew that we can't argue with that salesman, we already agreed and signed the receipt which actually showed the product name of the camera that we bought. The shop also told us about the shop warranty and we unconsciously agreed with that (The salesman said 'For any problem with the camera, come back to this shop, we will solve the problem for you, 1 year warranty, no need to worry'). Perhaps we paid US$100 cheaper for this reason. We take our lesson, this is HK, we should be more careful about everything, don't trust people easily.

Yesterday I spent half day to learn how to use the camera. I followed the step-by-step instruction on the manual book but I could not move forward from section 'Take picture with Auto Mode' which is the very very most basic step! You know why? Even with auto-mode, the pictures that I took were always blurred!! I kept changing the setting but I still couldn't fix this blurry problem for 4 hours. I fixed and cleaned my short-sighted glasses many times to check if my eye-vision was already worsen now. I was wondering if my new camera had short-sighted vision like me because the pictures turned out good when I used it to take picture of an object which was nearby. Does my camera also need my thick glasses? Soon after thinking about this, I tried to fixed the lens of the camera and suddenly I heard a sound *click!* when fixing the lens. Yes! I can take clear pictures now! :D I am happy enough to take pictures without blur, the next step is learning how and when to use the other modes. Phew! Long way to go..

Bye, diary..

-Abbie-

20 Weeks on 20.10.2010

Wednesday, 20 Oct 10, 11.38am at home

Hi little diary!
Today is a special day since it's October 20th. People write it 20.10.2010, cute isn't it? Yea, it is also a special day for me since today is exactly 20 weeks of my pregnancy. I am half way through, everything is doing fine so far. I was just back from my 10-day Indo trip. I got to eat the Indonesian food that I craved but the feeling is different. As soon as I reached Indo, I did not feel like eating anything. It is also weird that I couldn't sleep more than 5 hours in a day in Indo, I woke up very early every morning. I feel so exhausted easily although I practically did nothing in Indo. After I came back to HK, I slept a lot for days like having a serious jetlag. Is it because of my age? Or because of my pregnancy? Or because of the development of my laziness? Or my baby likes HK more than Indo?

My belly started to show, my weight started to increase, my body started to grow. When I was younger, I was always wondering how the pregnant women wear pants. Do they wear pants below their big tummy? Do they wear pants at big size so they can put the pants up on their super big tummy? Now I have started experiencing this feeling and I still can't make up my mind on wearing my pants below my tummy or on my big tummy so I keep pushing it up and down whenever I feel like it.

My pregnancy is so far so good, I can feel the baby's movements now! This is the highlight of today. This is an amazing experience to know that there is something alive inside me! I have become crazy since then, I keep talking to my baby whenever I want to eat, shower, or go somewhere. I feel like having an invisible secret friend that only me can see! I love this feeling so much, I think I am gonna miss this feeling after my baby is out of my womb. What the book says is right, second trimester is the time when a woman feels the best. I am enjoying the moments now. I have actually created a new blog to write letters to my baby since his world began. I don't want to miss one of the precious moments of my life.

During the pregnancy, I am quite a strong woman beside the fact that I fainted several times due to no reason. I still can do normal activities like usual. And, for now, I have decided to look for a job after the delivery later, I really want to work and earn money! *What???* I wanna write it here so that I won't pretend to forget in the future. Well, this plin-plan-me is acting up again.

Diary, next month me and hubby will have our last 'honeymoon' to Bali, Solo (my home town), Singapore, and Thailand. Yea, only these kind of countries will accept pregnant lady. I have been rejected when I applied for a visa to a certain country. It has been my dream to go to a country with initial 'NZ'. Too bad, this chance was missed. Sad? Yes. Disappointed? Very! But I am sure there must be a good purpose for me why I was rejected, right? Anyway, there will be 7 flights all together during this 15-day trip, please pray for me and especially my baby that we will be fine. Yea yea, 7 is my lucky number. But I am really scared of getting on the plane now. I like living with my feet standing on the ground. Since this will be our last 'honeymoon' before the baby time, I wanna go to this trip and make the fullest out of it. Every moment in life is precious!

-Abbie-

Today is 9-9-10

Thursday, 9 Sep 2010, 9.34pm at home

Hello diary..
Long time no see! Well, at least I still keep my promise, I told you that I don't like skipping month so I still write at least 1 post in a month. The title has nothing to do with the contents. Now I am alone at home, my hubby is having dinner with his colleagues. I did not plan to write diary today actually since I have nothing to tell you but I am sort of missing my little diary recently. I am now wondering why I feel like I have nothing to write, few years ago I always had 'something' to say. I know that 'something' does not always mean something important but at least I always had a topic to write about. Many things happen in my life but I always classify an event as 'unimportant' or 'private & confidential' to write about. I think those are the two main reasons.

Anyway, my pregnancy is now 3,5 months old, I have passed the first trimester safely, thanks God! But recently I am still struggling with the last bit of nausea. Before this, I really really hated vomit so much, I never experienced vomiting in my life. I didn't like the idea of my mouth to be both entrance and exit door for the food. I treasured food as much as I treasured my life. I loved eating! So, I wanted my mouth to be the entrance door only for my food. There is another proper exit door, right? I was thinking, how could I continue eating my food with my mouth after I throw up? But now, after I experience the turbulence and the storm that happen in my stomach, I am kind of addicted to itI like it if I can vomit. Today I ate a big bowl of ramen in Ajisen and a big glass of bubble tea right after the ramen. I wanted to pamper myself. On my 30 mins way home on the bus, the turbulence in my stomach started. My ramen was all out! My stomach was feeling so good after that. My tongue enjoyed the ramen but it did not have chance to be fats in my body, isn't that cool? Ok ok, I know that I should not think that way, but I can't help not to think of my soon-to-be-fat body.

In the next 2 weeks, I will hopefully know the gender of my baby. I am really looking forward to that day. *What is your preference?* Hmmm.. honestly I preferred baby girl initially but now I prefer to have baby boy, but sometimes I still like to have baby girl too whenever I see cute pretty small girl. The feeling is like when I have to choose to have ramen or crispy chicken curry rice for lunch, I want both but I can't finish both. *Was this your experience this afternoon before you had your big bowl of ramen?* Yea yea, you're right. Luckily, having girl or boy is decided by God so I don't need to choose myself, you know I am a 'plin plan' girl.

Finally I have a confirmed booking of the hospital, diary. HK is crazy, expectant women need to reserve a bed in a hospital as soon as they are 9 weeks pregnant and put HKD 20,000 deposit because the bed is always full. The private hospitals for maternity in HK are now already fully booked till April 2011. The late comers will not be entertained. Crazy, right? The crazier thing is, we can't even choose the room category now, we are just guaranteed a bed, the room category will be known on the admission day like a Christmas gift surprise, Tadaa! If the available room category is lower than our expectation, then we just need to endure it. If the available room category is higher than our expectation, then we need to pay more according to room's price!

Diary, next month I will be going back to Indonesia, yoohooo! This is an occasion that I have been waiting for since many many 3 months ago. I don't know why I am still attached to my home country so much.

It's getting late at night now, diary.. see you again!
*Hmm.. you indeed have so many things to talk but you said you had nothing to tell?*

-Abbie-

Craving for Food

Wed, 4 Aug 10, 9.37am at home

Morning, my dear diary..
My days have been upside down recently. My morning sickness is quite bad these last few weeks. My nausea is very bad although I don't throw up because I really hate throwing up. I feel that there is always 'emping' in my mouth, it tastes so bitter! If you want to know, the food that I hate the most in this world from the day I was born till the day I will die is Emping!! Emping is an Indonesian cracker, I don't understand why people created this kind of snack to be eaten. Even when my dad was trying me to do a barter for 1 small pack of emping with 1 car, I rejected him in 1 second without any regret! And now, that emping is always in my mouth 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the last 3 weeks. Can you imagine how many cars I will get? No, I mean, can you imagine how torturing is that? My head is spinning all the time. I still force myself to do my usual activities. I force myself to cook sometimes but at the end I really can't eat my own food. Amazingly, I can eat well when I eat out.

Now I am really craving for Nasi Gudeg. I keep searching for a restaurant that sells Nasi Gudeng in Hong Kong but I can't find it. :(

Then I found one video in youtube about how to make Nasi Gudeng at home. It looks quite interesting, it just needs some efforts and practice, and I think I can do it. I can make the krecek and the opor ayam, the only challenge is the jackfruit but I learned from youtube that I can replace 'daun jati' with the teabag to make the jackfruit and and egg red. But, I am not sure if I will still want to eat later after I finish cooking because I can't eat my own food now.

Three nights ago, I had a very sad dream till I woke up crying out loud. In my dream, I saw my little sister eating this 'Cabuk Rambak' with banana leaves. She offered me hers, but only 2 pieces left so I asked her to buy a new portion for me. After 10 mins, she came back with different food, not Cabuk Rambak. I asked her to go and buy again. After another 10 mins, she came back with another different food again! I was sooooo angry. Then I decided to go and buy myself. I saw a 'simbok' (old lady) with her Cabuk Rambak sitting in the corner, I quickly ordered 1 portion. This simbok slowly served my order with her hands while talking to the other simbok who was sitting beside her. And the more they talked, the conversation was getting hotter, her hands stopped moving, she completely forgot my order. My other brain realized that I was about to wake up from my dream since I could feel my hubby's movement on the bed beside me. I didn't want to go back to reality without tasting the Cabuk Rambak. I was angry with the simbok and I screamed while crying "Cepatannnnnnnnnnn Mbokk!! (Quickkkk!!)" and... I was left laying down on my bed crying and kicking my blanket. I heard my hubby said "Hey, wake up, it's just a dream, it's ok, it's ok" And I replied "I knowww, that's why I don't want to wake up!" Yes, back to reality, no Cabuk Rambak, no simbok, although my nose could smell the aroma of Cabuk Rambak but the emping flavour was back in my mouth again. I should have just eaten the 2 pieces left from my sister's, I regretted so much. I never know that craving for food can be this bad.

People say after 3 months, the emping flavour morning sickness is gone. So, it's another 3-4 weeks to go. Aja aja, Abbie!

-Abbie-

My 3rd Wedding Anniversary

Thursday, 8 July 10, 9.25am at home

Dear diary,
Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. Time flies so fast, it has been 3 years since we got married on 7 July 2007. I want to write it here because yesterday was an unforgettable day for me.

I got a special present yesterday. It is so special till my tears fell down on my cheeks. I am sure that the gift is prepared by God to be given to us on that special day. Yes, it is our wedding anniversary's gift! I was so touched and amazed how God is so sweet to me. HIS touch is so personal. HE pays attention to every detail of my life till HE even remembers my wedding anniversary. Well, for me, my wedding anniversary is such a big event. But for HIM, HE must have lots and lots and lots of other couple's wedding anniversary that HE needs to remember. But in fact, HE remembers mine! You know what, I am now crying when I am writing this. I am so touched on how HE treasures my life although I often think that I am just 'another human being' that HE happened to create. I was wrong! HE takes care of our lives more than we take care of our own!

So many ups and downs in life, I always think that everything happens for a good reason. You know that I am a person who always think positive. But, yesterday I learned something deeper: We are very precious in God's eyes! HE is watching everyone of us from above. Yes, EVERYONE of us, NO EXCEPTION!

Anyway, I had a great day yesterday. My hubby wanted to give me surprise by knocking off from office earlier but office work kept him till late. It is really ok, I am more than satisfied with his intention only. We had Japanese dinner and we watched 3D Shrek movie. Yes, it was just a simple outing that a couple should do but I did treasure the moments, because I know that every beautiful moment in my life is what God has specially prepared for me.

Usually every morning before my hubby goes to work, he always gives me 3 kisses; one at the left cheek, one at the right cheek, and one on the lips. This morning he gave me 3 kisses as usual then he opened the front door to leave. When he was about to close the door, he came in again to give me one more kiss. He said "One additional kiss for the one inside", he smiled and left. This is very simple but I want to remember this sweet moment forever too.

Thank You for Yesterday, Thank You for Today, and Thank You for Tomorrow! ^.^

-Blessed Abbie-

Oh I am still as clumsy as before...

Saturday, 26 June 10, 1.18pm

Hi Diary!
Today is Saturday. Today is such a cloudy day, the clouds are very low and dark. It's the best time to just sleep and relax at home. Suddenly I miss those moments when I write diary and express my feeling in it. So, I opened my little diary and started writing again.

I had a bad experience yesterday. I planned to go to China embassy to apply China visa for my husband yesterday around 4pm but I failed. I prepared all the documents, passport, etc the night before. Everything was all ready. Yes, I had no problem with the documentation. Around 3pm I took shower and got myself dressed up and ready to go. I took one of my favorite handbags from my cabinet, opened the dustbag, put the China visa application form, my hubby's pasport and his ID card in the bag. Then I grabbed my mascara, eye-lash curler, hair comb, and powder and put all of these in my bag. I didn't have time to do full make-up at home so I planned to do the eye-lash part on the bus. I thought that everything was all in then I opened the front door and closed it carefully. My front door is same like the door in hotel's room, once it's closed, it's locked!

After I heard the 'click' sound from the door meaning that it was properly locked, I opened my bag again to check if I have brought my wallet and my mobile phone. And at that time, thunder was in my head! *Dank!* I didn't bring my wallet and my phone! The worst is, my door key is always inside my wallet! So, I was like in between of nowhere. I couldn't go in, I couldn't go out. I couldn't take bus to ask for help since I didn't have bus card and money. I couldn't call somebody to help me too because I didn't bring my mobile and there was no public phone around my area *even there was, you had no money to call* yea, right! Key, mobile, and wallet are my traveling package and I forgot to bring all of them! Good job, Abbie!

I went downstairs, went out to the street, looked at how everyone was doing. People were busy doing their own activities. I was jealous. Me, I was like in invisible cage. I had my mascara and hair comb in my bag, but they couldn't help me. Then I went in again to my apartment lobby. I gave signal talked to the receptionist that I needed to borrow phone. My hubby's China application form really saved my life! I did fill in the form the night before including his phone number. Can you believe that I don't even remember my hubby's phone number? Even after that incident, even until now, I still have not managed to memorize his number. Anyway, I called my hubby finally and asked for his help. There were options that he gave me:
1. Borrow money from the receptionist to take bus to his office
2. Take taxi to his office and he would wait for me there to pay for the taxi fare
3, Wait for him to come home
I crossed option #3, I rejected option #1 since I don't like borrowing money from people that I don't know. Only left with option #2. But, there was a risk for option #2, how if I arrived earlier while my hubby was still not there? The taxi driver would be !"#$%&'() at me. And I would be ~.~# at the taxi driver.

Finally I still took option #2 and luckily my hubby was there before me. Fyi, this incident is not my first time. Exactly the same incident happened when my hubby was in Korea for 2 weeks and I was soooo nervous since I had none to call to. Fortunately the security guard was so nice for calling Key Repairman to come to open my door. Phew! Since then, that key repairman's name card is always in my wallet because I knew there would be a second time, and I was right! *But you also left your wallet so how can you contact that repairman??*

-Clumsy Abbie-

Aya-chan is a history...?

Monday, 7 June 10, 8am at home

Dear diary..
It has been so long time since I last wrote my diary. I just cleaned my apartment, I am feeling much better now with a neat and clean apartment. The last 2 days were my turbulence days. I felt like my life was a total mess. You know, I have been doing online selling using facebook this last 1 year, I named my online shop Aya-chan. I was so attached with Aya-chan till she has become part of my life, my habit, my job, my hobby, and my baby. But last weekend, I arranged 3 shipments as the last shipments for Aya-chan. Yes, something bad happened to Aya-chan last Saturday, suddenly Aya-chan's account on facebook is gone, yes it's GONE. I can't login to the account anymore and when I searched the page using the search function... the page is just not anywhere to be found. It's gone. Disappeared. Untraceable. Unsearchable. Like never existed before. I did contact facebook admin, but still no response.

I know that I can't keep my online shop forever since more and more competitors are going in now, the market will be saturated soon. And I know that one day I must leave Aya-chan. That's why these last few months I did search for other business opportunities and I have been working on that while I still tried to find time to keep Aya-chan running. But it is still so sad when it is time to say good-bye, especially when it is done forcefully.

Many people say that I still can start Aya-chan again anytime on facebook. No, not now perhaps. I wanna use this as a sign that I need to move on. I have been struggling if I had to leave Aya-chan these last 3 months but everytime I just couldn't do it due to many reasons. Now the time has come. Aya-chan is not dead. I'm doing another project now which I call Aya-chan Baby. Aya-chan was gone on the same day, when I was creating a new page for Aya-chan Baby Wholesale. Can you believe it? Is it really a sign that I should just focus on one thing at a time? I just want to think positive now, I just want to believe that everything happens for a good reason, God's reason. So, I need to go on and on and on. Aja! Aja!!

Anyway, a short history about Aya, Aya-chan was created by my elder sister. She is good in drawing. She is good in design. She is good in art. My sis first drew Aya-chan as a picture of me. She called her creature as Yaya-chan initially. Yaya is my childhood name, only my closest people call me with that name. But I changed it to Aya-chan because I don't want many people know that this Japanese girl in pink kimono and with hair bun is a picture of me. I really thank my dear sis for her great creation. Aya-chan will never perish so long as I shall live, because I am the Aya-chan! *Wow, it sounds like "I am the Iron Man!" at the end of Iron Man 1 movie*

-Abbie-